Elwood City: Criminal Intent Ep04 "War"

My thoughts on pairing wars. [Note: this isn't to slander anybody or anything, any references to real life events are simply used to further the plot.]

In Elwood City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by Buster Baxter and Fern Walters, detectives of the Junior Case Squad. These are their stories…

*Breakline*

Ladonna was on her computer, writing away a fan work for her favorite TV show, Andy and Company. She and Fern were the most capable writers among their peers, but from time to time, others would try their hand at fanfiction as well. A recent writer on the website by the username "Sunflower" had started picking fights about who the show's star, Andy, should hook up with in the end.

It had puzzled Ladonna, but she had shrugged it off. She was known for her stories featuring Andy and Cassidy, but "Sunflower" was adamant that Andy and Lillie were the proper pairing. For weeks, this continued, and finally Ladonna found out that they both went to Elwood City High. "Sunflower" prompted a meeting at school the next day, and Ladonna agreed.

*break*

Ladonna entered the high school, and was immediately greeted by Fern.

"Hey Ladonna!" The Junior Detective spoke.

"Hey! Are you guys on a case?" Ladonna asked excitedly.

"Not yet. So are you truly going to meet with 'Sunflower'?" Fern asked.

"That's the plan!" Ladonna replied. "I'll catch up with you later!"

With that, the two went off.

*break*

At lunch, Ladonna sat at her table, but she caught no sign of "Sunflower". Eventually, a moose girl sat down at her table.

"Hi," she greeted. "I'm Daisy Lundgren. But you may know me as Sunflower."

"Ladonna Compson," Ladonna offered her hand, "LouisianaGirl24! So what did you want to talk about?"

"It troubles me that people don't appreciate the great couple Andy and Lillie make." Daisy said.

"Well, Lillie can be quite snippy sometimes, but I don't really mind it if other people like them." Ladonna replied, sipping on a milkshake.

"I honestly can't believe that Andy and Cassidy are a pairing! I mean, Cassidy sucks!" Daisy scoffed.

"Well I appreciate that Cassidy's a generous person. She even held a charity ball at the school!" Ladonna mentioned.

"As if! It was just an act. Cassidy stole the episode that Lillie was supposed to shine in!"

Ladonna simply sipped her milkshake. She looked around finding something to say.

"Well why do you like Andy and Lillie?"

"They're just so adorable! Besides, if you analyze every episode, there's hints that they'll be a couple in high school! Like the time she told Andy, 'Leave me alone, Fuzz face!' It totally means that they'll be super close in high school." Daisy explained. Ladonna rolled her eyes quietly.

"Well Cassidy did admit to having a crush on Andy,"

"Hogwash!" Daisy interrupted. "She's just a lying skunk."

"Y'know," Ladonna made a show of checking her watch. "We should finish this later."

"Okay! Let's meet at the Sugar Bowl!" Daisy offered. Ladonna agreed.

*break*

Ladonna regaled Fern with her encounter with "Sunshine". Fern simply listened, being the ever wise one among the two. Fern shrugged and said, "She's just opinionated. It's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, but she made me feel stupid," Ladonna lamented.

"Trust me, that's just how people are. You and I have strong opinions too." Fern said pointedly.

Ladonna conceded that. She then told Fern about the Sugar Bowl meeting. Fern nodded her approval.

"Just get to know her better." Fern said. As she walked off, George ran up to Ladonna.

"Ladonna, don't meet with Daisy!" George warned.

"Why?" Ladonna was confused.

"You called Lillie snippy. That's my sister's berserk button! If anyone says anything bad about Lillie, she gets really, really angry about it!" George said.

Ladonna laughed it off. "What's she gonna do? Kill me?"

*break*

Ladonna stood waiting outside the Sugar Bowl. No one was inside, except the waitress, and the cook. Ladonna impatiently checked her watch. Suddenly, she was grabbed from behind, a knife slashing against her quickly. As the waitress ran outside, she saw a figure running off, and Ladonna was lying on the ground.

*DUN DUN*

Starring: Buster Baxter

Fern Walters

Chief Alan Neill

Det. Robert Fisher

Det. Lauren Slayton

and ADA Jennifer Brooks

Elwood City: Criminal Intent


CSU was photographing the crime scene. Buster stood off a ways, and stared at Ladonna's lifeless corpse. Fern questioned the waitress who admitted that she hadn't seen much. When Charlie finished bagging evidence, he motioned Buster over. Buster walked over and knelt down. Ladonna had fallen in a twist, the back of her head sustaining the brunt of the injury.

Buster set his arms at a distance, and twisted left and right, attempting to figure out how the murder was committed. Charlie watched Buster for a minute, before asking just what he was doing.

"The killer jumped her." Buster backed around Ladonna and towards the side of the Sugar Bowl. "They grabbed her, and made a slash across the neck. That isn't what killed her."

"What did?" Charlie asked.

"When the killer ran off, Ladonna twisted, the sudden rush of blood, along with hitting her head on the ground really messed her up." Buster said.

Charlie sighed. "Well, it's time to make another phone call."

*255 Boston Boulevard, Elwood City. 6:00 pm*

Detectives Fisher and Slayton sat inside the Compson Home. Fisher talked to Bud, Madison, and Gussie, while Lauren handled the parents.

"I have a daughter too. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose her." Detective Slayton consoled.

"Our little girl was so sweet. She didn't have any enemies." Cisley cried into her husband's shoulder.

"Did your daughter participate in online chat rooms or forums?" Slayton asked.

"She used to write for this fanfiction site, fanworks dot net." Rufus supplied.

"She loved this children's show, Andy and Company. It was her favorite thing to write about." Cisley added.

"She said that there was someone new to the fandom who kept arguing about something regarding a, pair of shoes?" Rufus said.

"Pairing, hon. It means a couple." Cisley clarified. Detective Slayton nodded and wrote down in her pad.

Fisher was playing cards with the siblings. As he shuffled for another hand of Go Fish, Fisher asked, "Did your sister have any problems with anyone?"

"My sister didn't have beef with nobody!" Bud spoke up.

"Since when do you say 'beef'?" Madison asked.

"Since the police showed up!" Bud replied.

"So everyone liked your sister?" Robert asked. The Compson children just shrugged and nodded. "Did she have any hobbies?"

"She was a writer. She used to be an original novelist. But she said that writing fanfiction gave her ideas, so she started doing that." Madison replied.

"That sounds cool." Fisher said. He looked back into the living room, and Lauren waved him over. Making a sigh of disappointment, he said, "I'm sorry guys, but I have to go. It was nice meeting you guys though."

"You too Detective!" Bud said in farewell. Madison and Gussie just waved.

As Fisher entered the living room, Slayton gathered her things, and they thanked the Compsons for their time. Leaving, Fisher asked, "What's up?"

"We have a lead."

*ECPD 7:45 pm*

Buster, Fern, Lauren, and Robert stood in the briefing room. Chief Neill had gotten everything he needed to hear. He told the Junior Case Squad that they would be calling in the help of TARU, the Technical Assistance Response Unit. TARU was on it's way to the Compson residence to dump Ladonna's computer, and get everything they needed.

"You two," Neill pointed at Buster and Fern. "Canvas the school. You two," he pointed at Slayton and Fisher. "Sit tight. You've questioned the parents, now it's time for the Juniors to do their thing."

*Elwood City High school 12:00 pm*

Buster stood by Fern's locker as his partner put up her books. Buster noticed that Fern had been quiet for most of the morning.

"Fern what's wrong?" Buster asked.

"I know who did it." Fern said.

"Even if you did, we've got to do this. How else will they confess?" Buster reasoned. Fern sighed, closing her locker.

"Do we have any leads?" Fern asked.

"Rob texted me that TARU just finished the dump." Buster said.

"And?"

"She had been having intense private message sessions with a Sunshine." Buster added. Fern nodded.

"Chief wants us to check her out and question her, doesn't he?" Fern asked. Buster nodded in reply. The two shared a confident look, then walked off to find their suspect.

They found Daisy Lundgren sitting in the school library. She was on her laptop, typing away furiously. Fern and Buster walked up behind her, flanking her at both sides. Fern tapped on Daisy's shoulder, who quickly closed her laptop.

"Hey whatcha writing?" Buster inquired, opening up the laptop with glee.

"Who do you think you are!? You can't go through my stuff!" Daisy opposed.

"We're detectives, and yes we can." Fern showed Daisy her badge.

"People are totally blind to the absolute love muffins that are Andy and Lillie," Buster grinned. "It's time we opened their eyes, by whatever means necessary. All AnLie supporters rise! For we will show them the light."

"My, my, that sounds like a battle cry!" Fern concluded. Grabbing Daisy by the arm she said, "You're coming with us."

*ECPD Interrogation Room. 5:00 pm*

Buster and Fern entered the room holding Daisy Lundgren. Her mother sat in the room by her, the older moose snorting at the sight of Fern and Buster.

"This has to be some sort of sick joke." Mrs. Lundgren said.

"We came to talk to your daughter, please don't interfere." Fern said darkly.

"TARU's going through the laptop," Buster began. "I don't know what they'll find but I'm sure it'll be interesting."

Daisy's breathing slowed a little.

"So tell us about the message. What was it about, and who were you sending it to?" Fern demanded.

"Who are you to talk to me that way?" Daisy challenged.

Fern gripped the table, and a knock came from the two-way. Fern exited the room, and Detective Slayton took her place. The older woman took her place by the back wall, deciding to just watch.

"Why is he still here!?" Daisy shouted.

"Because I'm your best friend right now." Buster sat down. He stretched his arms out on the table, and intertwined his fingers.

"So Daisy, do you have any friends at school?" Buster began.

"I don't need friends. I have Andy and Lillie to keep me company. Plus, I talk to fellow fans on a forum dedicated to Andy and Company. It's a fun place where you can be yourself!" Daisy replied.

"I used to watch that show too. It always reminded me of my actual life," Buster chuckled. "LouisianaGirl24. What do you know about her?"

"I met her yesterday. We were supposed to meet at the Sugar Bowl, but I had to go straight home." Daisy replied.

"Did you two ever converse online?" Buster asked.

"We argued about AnLie a lot. She's an Andy and Cassidy shipper, Y'know!"

Lauren snorted, "Wow what a tool."

"I know right! I mean, they haven't even kissed!" Daisy defended.

"Ladonna ended up dead yesterday." Buster stated, taking the two Lundgrens aback.

"Well, Daisy came straight home." Mrs. Lundgren supplied. "She couldn't have done it!"

"What time did she get home?" Lauren asked.

"Six o'clock. But she told me that she had detention."

"I got in a fight." Daisy supplied.

Buster looked at Lauren, who raised an eyebrow.

*Elwood City High school. 7:00 am*

Mister Greenwood, the school principal, confirmed that Daisy had been in a fight.

"What was the fight about?" Detective Fisher asked.

"Some girls were talking about this old TV show, Andy and Company. The kids used to watch it."

"My little girl does too," Fisher mentioned. "What could've offended Miss Lundgren?"

"They were gushing over Andy and Cassidy, or so Daisy said. She told me that obviously they were wrong, since Andy and Lillie had gone square dancing, like I give two shakes." Mr. Greenwood expounded.

"So she got detention?" Slayton asked.

"No," the principal replied. "It was her first offense. Slap on the wrist, and she's on her way."

"Thank you for your time." The Detectives left.

"She lied to her mother." Lauren said.

"What was your first clue? The bratty behavior or the hours long alibi?" Robert questioned. Lauren smirked.

"Look," Robert sighed. "When I was in high school, even I only got an hour long detention."

"She could still be innocent." Lauren argued.

"That's why Buster and Fern are putting the squeeze on her internet friends." Fisher replied.

*break*

"I hate Andy and Cassidy too," one girl said. "I prefer Andy and Custer, but that's just me. They're more likely than any of Andy's 'girlfriends', but, to each his or her own."

"So did Daisy ever come to you guys for support?" Fern asked.

Another girl said, "She would come to the forums to rag on AnLie haters. We agreed with her that it was pretty pointless to hate a ship."

"Um," Buster looked at the first girl.

"Without a reason." The second girl added.

The Junior Detectives nodded, and walked away. Fern was seething.

"What's wrong?" Buster asked.

"Ladonna is dead, and all anyone gives a crap about is whether Andy dates Cassidy, Lillie, or his best friend Custer for crying out loud!" Fern exclaimed.

"It's vital to the investigation," Buster reasoned.

"How?"

"You know as well as I do that Ladonna's death was no accident. This was a statement, the first shots of a war." Buster said.

"So people who disagree want to kill each other now?" Fern asked incredulously. Then she considered. "Makes sense."

"Later today, we'll see if TARU found anything." Buster said.

*Technical Assistance Response Unit. 4:44 pm*

Buster and Fern entered the Technical department with awe. They had never been to TARU's office before, and therefore all the labs, computers, and various technical equipment surprised them pleasantly.

Henry Chang, the lead technician, welcomed the two young detectives. Henry was a young man of thirty-six, making his way up the ladder to technical captain. He led Buster and Fern to Daisy's computer.

"We found suspicious messages to a 'Lookout32'." Chang summarized.

"What do you mean by suspicious?" Buster asked.

"Daisy offered him two hundred bucks if he was willing to do a job."

"What did he say?" Fern asked.

"He asked what was the job. Daisy told him that he could help kick start an epic war, by taking out the leader of the opposition." Chang answered.

"And he said?" Fern asked.

"Yes."

*1913 Tetris Avenue, Elwood City. 6:00 pm*

Four SWAT vans littered the sidewalk, alongside a dozen or more police cruisers. Detectives Fisher and Slayton wore protective vests, gripping their service pistols with both hands.

SWAT Team One sent in a battering ram, collapsing the door. Two more SWAT teams rushed in the house.

"Police! Put your hands up!" One trooper shouted. When Team Two entered the living room, they found a dark skinned young man of seventeen playing Call of Duty. He offered his hands with a bored look, and police officers arrested him.

*ECPD Interrogation Room. 8:00 pm*

Detective Fisher entered with Buster. Fisher sighed and complained, "I could be eating dinner right now. Now I've got to pay the nanny double."

"Do I look like I care?" The teen asked.

"I get cranky when I'm hungry. And trust me," Fisher ground out, "You won't like it when I'm cranky."

"Do you know a Sunflower?" Buster asked.

"I talked to her online a few times. Why?" The teen leaned in. "What's a young guy like you do with that information."

"Buddy," Fisher warned. "Back off."

"Oh? Is the big bad detective gonna beat me up? I'm not scared of you." The teen bravely challenged.

"Oh you should be." Fisher whispered.

"So what's your name?" Buster asked.

"Charles. Charles Gray. Why? Is this going down on my record?" Charles asked.

"If you committed a murder, then yes." Fisher said.

"I ain't murder nobody." Charles denied, throwing his arm.

"You talked to Sunflower. About what exactly?" Buster continued. The teen scoffed in defiance. Fisher grabbed Charles by the collar, dragging him from his feet.

"Answer the question, or I'll make your night a living hell." Fisher uttered in a low voice.

"Do it, pig! I ain't afraid of you!" Charles challenged. Fisher's face turned dark, before a hard knock sounded on the two-way. Fisher dropped the teenager, and exited the room, Fern entering in his place.

"Mm, mm, mm! My little lady do you look fine," Charles cat-called Fern, who set her jaw.

"How about we go grab some shakes?" Charles asked.

"How about we shake some information out of you?" Fern dropped an evidence bag on the table. In it, contained a butcher's knife. "Recognize this?"

Charles raised an eyebrow and leaned back. "It's my mama's knife. She uses it to cut meat."

"CSU found human DNA on it." Buster supplied. "And no, not fingerprints."

Charles' face turned dark. "So what? How do you know it was me?"

"We have your private messages to Sunflower. If you give her up, and admit that she paid you to do it, the DA might save you from a life sentence." Buster offered. Charles looked at Buster, then at Fern.

He winked at Fern and said, "Visit me in prison."

*break*

"This is outrageous!" Mrs. Lundgren was enraged. "My daughter didn't do anything!"

"Oh shut up!" Fisher shouted. "Your daughter lied through her stinking teeth. She didn't get no detention! She barely got a slap on the wrist!"

"How dare you talk to me like that! I'll have your badge detective!" Fisher steeled and walked out. Slayton entered in his place. Buster, sitting across from the Lundgrens, passed them the chat logs.

"Read it, Mrs. Lundgren." Buster instructed. As the older Lundgren read, her anger took a new turn. She slapped her daughter.

"Mom!" Daisy cried.

"How dare you refer to me as your mother! You've shamed me!" Mrs. Lundgren got up and left, saying, "Give the brat what she deserves!"

"I didn't do anything!" Daisy protested.

Buster locked his fingers together. Cocking his head and looking downward.

"So it was just a joke?" Buster asked.

"What?"

"Because, when we searched the place, we found two hundred dollars in cash in Lookout32's bed." Buster added, "We know money changed hands."

"That's what went down in the two hours between getting off of school, and going home." Lauren supplied.

"Tell me something, why does it matter who Andy gets with?" Buster asked.

"He deserves to be happy!" Daisy cried.

"Well can't he be happy with Cassidy? What about Molly, or Alexis, or Francesca!" Buster stood.

"They're not right for him! None of them are!" Daisy covered her ears.

"You would kill someone for being a poor matchmaker?" Buster asked.

"Yes!" Daisy shouted. "It disgusts me to see Andy with anyone other than his perfect love! They'll be married! They'll have perfect mixed-species babies! They're the canon pairing!"

Buster backed up, having on last card to play.

"Were you going to meet with Ladonna at the Sugar Bowl?"

"No," Daisy confessed. "I set her up. And if Charles hadn't agreed, I would've killed her myself."

Buster stared at her in a neutral manner. Lauren walked over to arrest Daisy, and led her out of the room. Buster exited behind them, looking out as Daisy was taken to lockup.

Fisher sighed.

"It's been a long night everyone." Chief Neill offered. "Let's all get some rest."

The Chief and Fisher walked off, but Buster and Fern stayed in place, their gazed focused on the cages.

Created by: The Ultimate Combo

The proceeding story was entirely fictional, any references to real people or events are entirely coincidental.

Inspired by: Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Written, Created, and Produced by: TheUltimateCombo

Starring:

Buster Baxter, Fern Walters

Lauren Slayton, Robert Fisher

Alan Neill, Jennifer Brooks

Charlie Everdean

With,

Ladonna, Bud, Madison, Cisley, and Rufus Compson

George, Daisy, and Mrs. Lundgren

Girls 1 and 2

Principal Greenwood

Charles Grey

And Henry Chang

Arthur © Marc Brown

Elwood City: Criminal Intent © TUC Productions

Daisy seriously killed Ladonna over a fictional pairing? If I were her judge, I would have sentenced her to a loony bin.

There is a moral to this story. Never meet anyone from the Internet in real life. It is very dangerous.

Plus, it's 100% pointless to hate on fictional pairings because you are not gaining anything out of it.

I have to agree. I wrote this because way too often fandoms become divided over stuff like pairings, OCs, etc. And the sad thing is, people are ready to get physical over TV shows.

So, alongside the moral you gave, the second moral is this: Before allowing your temper to flare over something, anything, remember the consequences. Remember that there are other, more real problems out there.

Fern states this perfectly: "Ladonna is dead, and all anyone gives a crap about is whether Andy dates Cassidy, Lillie, or his best friend Custer for crying out loud!"

And I personally don't really care what pairing you support. I may disagree with it. But I recognize your right to ship it. I just expect the same treatment.

TheUltimateCombo wrote:I have to agree. I wrote this because way too often fandoms become divided over stuff like pairings, OCs, etc. And the sad thing is, people are ready to get physical over TV shows.

So, alongside the moral you gave, the second moral is this: Before allowing your temper to flare over something, anything, remember the consequences. Remember that there are other, more real problems out there.

Fern states this perfectly: "Ladonna is dead, and all anyone gives a crap about is whether Andy dates Cassidy, Lillie, or his best friend Custer for crying out loud!"

And I personally don't really care what pairing you support. I may disagree with it. But I recognize your right to ship it. I just expect the same treatment.

That, I can see happening. It's just a show. People get offended over the most silliest things.

Exactly, like ISIS, the economy (it's still difficult to find a job even with experience), Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton's Election, all those mass shootings lately, etc.

I can see if Lamar Odom didn't survive his overdose, fanbases wouldn't care and care more about a fictional couple.

Honestly, I don't really care for Arthur pairings. I do consider Francine a love interest for Arthur. She is what you call a "Tsundere." Like Helga from Hey Arnold!, she often teases Arthur. Especially in the books and the first few seasons. And they were shown to be an old couple at the end of "And Now Let's Talk To Some Kids."

Another great story TUC! It's too bad for Ladonna, she really is a sweet girl and some idiot had to kill her over a pairing she liked.

And I highly agree with PCG (the admin's initials for the record, hope you don't mind it PCG, I just said it again!) Anywaisy (my fancy way of saying "anyway") it is dangerous to meet people you meet online in person, you don't and cannot know or be sure who they are.

Such a shame that some things in this world look beautiful on the outside but have a hidden trap on the inside.

Some temper and attitude the teen had!

Wonder what made Daisy confess to the crime. It's like she just did it out of the blue. Maybe I need to read that part again. And she deserves to be punished for lying, if she'd just told the truth she probably wouldn't have been in as much trouble.

How does George survive being the brother of Daisy? I also wonder how George knew Daisy was so dangerous but then again he lives with her!

I don't blame Ms. Lundgren for saying "How dare you refer to me your mother!" I know parents get embarrassed at what their children do, but I'm not sure I remember a parent telling his or her kid that. I'd be just as upset, maybe more upset, if I had a kid that commited such a terrible deed!

Long fanfic but worthwhile. Good story!